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  • Funny Birthday Quotes

    Happy Birthday, you’re not getting older you’re just a little closer to death.

    To the nation’s best kept secret; Your true age.

    Birthdays are like boogers, the more you have the harder it is to breathe.

    Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that people who have the most live the longest!

    Money’s tight
    Times are hard
    Here’s you friggin birthday card

    Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

    Better to be over the hill than burried under it.

    You always have such fun birthdays; you should have one every year.

    So many candles… so little cake.

    Happy birthday to a person who is smart, good looking, and funny and reminds me a lot of myself.

    We know we’re getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it.

    Happy Birthday on your very special day, I hope that you don’t die before you eat your cake.

    >Text Message 11803: Someone else must have shot the lion


    90 year old man: My 18 year old wife is pregnant. What do you think, doctor?

    Doc: Let me tell you a story.. A hunter in a hurry, grabs an umbrella instead of a gun. He goes into the jungle, sees a lion, lifts the umbrella, pulls the handle & BANG.. the lion drops dead!

    Old man: That’s impossible, someone else must have shot the lion.

    Doc: EXACTLY:P

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